Fateful
by ScreamItOutLoudd
Summary: Leanah is an orphan. Her parents died in an awful carcrash. Now her aunt and uncle are taking her to live with them in Germany. Leanah wants to die. But then she meets four boys in a band called Tokio Hotel and one of them makes her change her mind. R&R.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

I've always been all alone. Well not always. There was a time when I was happy and I had a family, but that time is gone. And it is never coming back. I used to think that my parents and me were the happiest people in the world. Then they were taken away from me and everything changed. I died my hair jet black, got my lip pierced, and started cutting myself. Of course, to understand you would have to know my story so, in short, here it is.

I was thirteen when my parents died. We fought like every normal family, but whenever it seemed like the conflict was getting out of hand we fixed it. We always spent time together. When they died I did too.

Both of my parents died in a car crash. After that I vowed I would never drink. A drunk driver hit us. I was the one to survive the crash unharmed. Most people say I'm lucky. I disagree. If I were really luck I would be with my parents right now.

Dad died first. He was killed instantly upon impact. So was the other driver. An ambulance took mom and me to the hospital. I insisted that I was fine, but they put me on a stretcher anyway. Just minutes after arriving at the hospital Mom's heart stopped beating. I sobbed as I waited for my aunt and uncle to get to the hospital. I wanted to die.

My aunt and uncle were my only living relatives. They never liked me so they put me in foster care and that is where I've been for three years. Now the story goes on. It may not be a particularly happy story, but it was mine and it was all I had. Until one fateful day.

Chapter 1

I am sitting in the bathroom, holding a razor blade to my wrist. To think that years of counseling are going down the drain for one little thing. I haven't cut myself for a year and a half. And the sad thing is that I'm only sitting here because I got in a fight with my foster parents. My aunt and uncle called and they think it would be a good idea if I went to visit them. Apparently they "miss" me. Yeah right. If they knew they were going to miss me, then why they dump me here the first chance they got? I sigh and run my tongue over my lip ring. Standing up I place the razor on the sink and leave the bathroom.

Mickey and Alex are playing in the hallway. When she sees me, Mickey stands up with a smirk on her face. She may act dumb, but Mickey is actually very aware of things. Me especially. I'm her favorite subject. Lucky me.

"I know what you were doing in there." She says it so matter- of- fact that I want to slap her. "You were slitting your wrists, weren't you? I'm telling Donna." She starts towards the stairs but I grab her arm and hold it tight.

"You say anything and I will personally make your life a living hell. Got it? Besides do you see any cuts on my arm? No. I did not cut myself. Now beat it you little twit." I let go of her arm and storm into my too-small room. I make sure to slam the door after me. Hard.

"Leanah, don't slam doors." Donna's voice rings loud and clear. " Whatever," I call back. I slowly walk over and plop onto my small twin bed. My whole room is like the size of a walk- in- closet. The bed takes up one wall and my dresser takes up another. It makes me claustrophobic.

I grab my iPod and blast the music in my ears. I don't even pay attention to the lyrics. Finally I decide that music is doing nothing to calm me down. I turn off my iPod and head downstairs.

As soon as my foot hits the bottom stair I freeze. I want to run as fast as I can back upstairs and never come back down. Just as I turn around an icy voice hits me. Well not icy, but it might as well be.

"Leanah. How are you sweetie?" My aunt's voice is like a knife through my heart. Just hearing it makes me want to scream and punch every inch of her. Also she said my name wrong.

"It's pronounced Lee-nah, not Lee- Anah." I roll my eyes.

"I know sweetie. Now why don't you come over here. John and I have something to discuss with you." I look at my Uncle John. He is definitely bigger than the last time I saw him. Plus he is wearing a fake smile that I don't buy at all. None-the-less I walk over and lean against the refrigerator door.

"Leanah I want you to know that Marie and I are terribly sorry for leaving you here."

"Yes. We wanted to bring you to our home, but we just weren't ready to take on a teenager." I would have believed them if it weren't for Aunt Marie's eyes. They betrayed her. I could still see the hate in her eyes as she took in my all black outfit, my black hair, and the lip ring in the corner of my mouth.

"We already talked with Donna and we all think it would be for the best if you got to know your family. It has been arranged for you to come and live with us." I'm positive my confusion is showing on my face. Uncle John opens his mouth to say more, but I cut him off.

"You mean, for like a week?" Aunt Marie pinches the bridge of her perfect nose. Curtsey of plastic surgery of course. I turn to look at Donna, for reassurance, but all I see are tears pouring down her face. My voice is barely above a whisper. "It's not for just a week is it?"

"No. It's for good." The knife is plunged through me once again as I run upstairs, fighting tears all the way.

Aunt Marie and Uncle John are coming to get me in an hour. Then we are driving to the airport, where we will be flying to my new home. In Germany. Right now I am curled in a ball on the floor of my room. Mickey keeps coming to my door and knocking on it.

"Leanah, please open the door." I stand up and give in. I open the door and she walks inside. Mickey is only ten. Six years younger than me. She is actually very sweet. I close the door once she is in the room and then grab my pillow and hug my knees.

"Leanah, you'll come back to visit, won't you?" I didn't notice until now that Mickey is crying. I bite my lip to keep in my own tears.

"I don't know Mickey. I hope so. Life wont be the same without you annoying me all day." I smile, trying to make light of the situation. It works. Mickey lets out a little laugh. "Hey. Why don't you help me pack?" I point to the two open suitcases I have. So far all I have packed are my toiletries. "I need all the help I can get. You take the bottom drawer and put my pants in this one." I point to the largest suitcase. " We'll race to see who fills their suitcase first. Ready, set, GO!"

Mickey pulls the bottom drawer of my dresser out and starts throwing my jeans haphazardly in the suitcase. I start throwing shirts and underwear into the other one. When I get to the back of the shirt drawer I notice a hot pink shirt. All of my shirts are either black or purple. Suddenly my hearts stops as I recognize the shirt my parents gave me on my thirteenth birthday. The day they died.

My tears flow freely now and I don't try to stop them. I grab the last of the shirts and stuff them in the suitcase. Then I grab the picture of my parents and put it in my carry- on bag, along with my laptop, charger, and iPod. Then I sit on the bed with my tears still flowing.

"What's wrong Leanah? Is it because you're leaving?" Mickey's concerned face brings about fresh tears as I slowly nod my head. She hugs me and quickly leaves the room. I grab the rest of my pants and zip up the suitcases. After one last look at the room, I grab them and roll them into the hall. The room turns dark as I shut the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay. So this chapter is really short. I will update two chapters tomorrow. I already have them written. I'm not trying to be mean or anything either. The whole story is done, seeing as this is one of the ones they removed from the site.

Anyway. This story is supposed to be called Fateful, not Faterful. I had a retard moment and accidentally pressed the R key on the keyboard. But I won't change the name back. I just thought you should know.

Reviews would be much appreciated.

* * *

Chapter 2

I am outside sitting on the roof of the shed in my new yard. At my new home. In a new country. It's strange to be here. I feel like I left a piece of me behind. My heart is strangely empty.

Aunt Marie and Uncle John come outside now. They are wearing matching shirts and shorts. It takes all my power not to laugh out loud. I climb down onto the ground before they can notice I was up there.

"Leanah! Where are you?" I walk around the shed and stand in the driveway.

"I'm right here." I sigh and tuck my hair behind my ear. I hear the sound of a car and turn to see a black Cadillac Escalade pulling into the driveway. Uncle John walks up to the car and I notice a boy with dreadlocks in the drivers seat. In the passengers seat is another boy, who looks exactly like the driver, except for his hair is black and long. It is sticking out in all directions and has a few white-blond streaks in it. His eyes are lined with a lot of black make-up and he has an eyebrow ring. The driver has a lip ring in the same place as mine.

Just as soon as they arrived, they were gone again.

"Who were they?" I ask Uncle John. He hesitates, before replying.

"The driver was Tom Kaulitz. His twin brother Bill was the passenger." Aunt Marie comes and stands next to Uncle John. She is scowling.

"I don't want you hanging around with those boys. Understand? They will bring nothing but trouble." It takes all my strength to keep from screaming that she couldn't tell me who I was and wasn't going to hang out with. I want to tell her just where she should go. But instead I just bite my tongue and walk into the house, wishing I were dead.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

School starts today. I am extremely nervous. I have no clue what is going to happen. Everyone is going to be speaking German and I only know three sentences. "Was?" is "what?" "Ich spreche nicht Deutsches gut" means "I don't speak German well" and "Ich weiss nicht" means "I don't know." I also know how to say "I hate you." But I can't go around saying "Ich hasse dich" to everyone.

I sit up in bed and take a deep breath. My mind flashes to what happened yesterday. When I went inside I powered up my laptop and Googled Bill Kaulitz. Since then I've been seeing his face every time I close my eyes.

I stand up and go into my walk-in closet. It is the size of my bedroom back home in America. I even have my own bathroom and a laundry chute. I was absolutely positive that I would be sleeping in the barn when I got here. I pull on a pair of dark wash jeans and a black band tee. Then I tie up my All Star Converse and walk downstairs to the massive dining room.

Aunt Marie barely passes a glance in my direction when I enter. Uncle John just looks up and nods. I guess I'm not invisible. I sit down at the opposite end of the table and grab a piece of toast. It is very difficult to eat when butterflies are flying around in my stomach.

"So Leanah, John has to go to work early today so he will be giving you a ride to school alright? That's not going to be a problem is it?" Aunt Marie is smiling that all too familiar fake smile. Once again the urge to die hits me.

"Yeah. That's fine," I mumble quietly. Aunt Marie cocks her head to the side.

"Sorry? I didn't quite catch that." I take a deep breath.

"Yes that would be most acceptable." I smile and Aunt Marie glares at me.

"I will not be spoken to in that tone young lady."

"Sorry. Can we go now? I don't want to be late."

When I step out of the car I feel eyes boring into my back. I've learned to ignore the stares so I just keep walking, my eyes staring straight ahead. And that's when I see him, seeing me. He taps his dreadlocked brother on the shoulder and then points at me. I put my head down and pick up the pace. Once I am past them I turn around. He is still staring at me. I push into the school and go to my first period class.

I take a seat at the back of the classroom and wait for the bell to ring. Suddenly I feel eyes staring at me. I look up and see four boys watching me. Of course the twins are two of them. The other two I don't recognize. One is wearing a hat over short blond hair, while the other has long brown hair. They all turn when I catch them staring.

And suddenly I want to scream. I want to know what makes them think that they can just sit and gawk at me. Those freaky German boys are so rude. And now I want to cry. I don't even know these boys, yet I'm judging them like a crappy childrens book. I run my tongue over my lip ring and take a deep breath.

Just as I am about to run from the classroom, the teacher walks in and begins to speak in rapid German. I notice people taking notes, but as I've no clue what he is saying I cannot possibly write anything down. I put my face in my hands. I want to throw up.

Suddenly there is a hand on my back, leading me out the door. I turn and see Bill Kaulitz, walking me down the hall. He sits me on a bench and then sits down next to me. I hear him say something in German.

"What?" I ask stupidly. He is German. He doesn't understand me. But to my surprise he answers me.

"I said I was told to take you to the nurse, but you probably don't want to go there on your first day, right?" He smiles a gorgeous smile.

"Yeah. Thanks."

"No problem. So are you okay?"

"I guess. I'm having some trouble adjusting." Bill furrows his brow.

"To what?"

"To a whole new life." I feel the burn behind my eyes and bite my lip. _No tears. No tears._ I say this inside my head for a minute, Bill watching me the whole time.

"I'm Bill. You've seen my twin brother Tom, the one with dreadlocks, and my other friends Gustav and Georg. Gustav is the one with the hat." Bill holds out his hand. I take it and we shake.

"I'm Leanah. Spelt L-E-A-N-A-H. Pronounced Lee-nah."

"Hi Lee-nah," Bill says, stressing the Lee. I laugh and Bill smiles again. "So the boys and I have band practice today. We're in a band called Tokio Hotel. We aren't famous yet, but some day. Anyway, would you like to come?"

I nod and Bill tells me that practice is in the band room at five o'clock. Then the bell rings and people come filing out of classrooms. We stand up and Bill waves as he jogs to catch up to Tom, Gustav, and Georg. And for the first time today death is the last thing I want.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"But why can't I go?" I got home after home and told Aunt Marie that I was going to Tokio Hotel's band practice. I don't even know why I was so surprised when she said no.

"It's really very simple. I don't like those boys. End of discussion." Aunt Marie turns and walks out of the room. I follow.

"What? Just because you don't like them means I have to hate them too? Well, newsflash. The world doesn't revolve around you. So why don't you suck up your petty little problems and tell someone who cares. Because I honestly don't give a crap. You ruined my life once, but never again." And then she whirls around. I stagger a bit and press my hand to my face. Her slaps stings. Tears fall. I grab my car keys and run out the door.

I don't know where I'm going. The tears keep falling and I can't stop them, which makes more tears fall. Finally I can't see the road and pull over. I turn off the car and bury my face in my hands.

I don't know how long I sit like this. The tears won't stop. Its not even because my aunt hit me anymore. I take a deep breath and hear a tap on my window. I turn, thinking it is a tree.

"Freak!" I scream. I rarely swear, so saying freak is my substitute for the "F" word. I jump and hit my head. Bill is standing outside my window. A concerned look washes over is face when he sees my tear-stained face. He walks around the front of the car and climbs in the passengers seat. He waves someone on and I look to see a black Cadillac pulling away from the curb.

"Hey, what's wrong? You look so sad." Bill sounds so genuinely concerned that I can't help but love him. So I take a deep breath and begin to tell my story. Starting with my thirteenth birthday.

"And then I pulled over and you came." Bill nods.

"So were you crying because your aunt hit you or because you couldn't come to our practice?" He smiles a sad half smile.

"I don't know. I think I was crying because my whole situation sucks. Hey! It's almost five. You're going to be late." I start the car and we drive towards the school. Neither of us speaks the whole way there.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Bill's voice is truly amazing. I have no clue what he is singing, but it sounds beautiful all the same. He sings with such a passion that I want to cry. They'll be famous one day. I know it.

"Okay. Lets start the English ones." Bill laughs at something Tom says in German. "I'm sure Leanah will understand these ones. She's not retarded, just American." Tom says something else that sends Georg into a fit of laughter.

"You guys have songs in English?" I ask curiously. Bill nods.

"Yep. When we are famous we want people everywhere to be able to understand our music. That is really important to us." Bill smiles and the others start playing. I sit there and listen to the music, not even taking in the lyrics. I watch Bill the whole time. And then the ending chorus catches my attention.

"I scream into the night for you  
Don't make it true  
Don't jump  
The lights will not guide you through  
They're deceiving you  
Don't jump  
Don't let memories go  
Of me and you  
The world is down there out of view  
Please don't jump  
Don't jump  
And if all that can't hold you back  
I'll jump for you"

Tears pour down my face. Bill is laughing with the boys and then sees me. He says something in German and Tom, Gustav, and Georg leave the room.

"Leanah, what's wrong? You looked fine a minute ago." Bill's concerned, caring face only makes the tears fall faster.

"That song just hits home for me that's all." Bill wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a hug. "I used to think that the world would just be better without me. Only there was never anyone there to tell me 'Don't Jump. Push through it' you know. And I know this song wasn't meant to be directed towards me but it just feels like it was. The lyrics are really beautiful, by the way."

"Thanks," Bill says sadly. "You said that you used to want to die when we were in your car. Can I ask what changed your mind? You don't have to answer. I know that's a very personal question."

"It's okay. You changed my mind, Bill. That first time we talked, just this morning. I felt like I finally had something to live for." I look into Bill's brown, kohl-lined eyes just as a single tears falls. I wipe it away, making Bill laugh.

"Sorry," He says. Swiftly, he lifts me to my feet. "Do you want to come with us to get something to eat? We can't function on empty stomachs." I laugh and nod my head, glad to be included. Bill takes my hand, making my heart skip, and pulls me into the hall. Then he quickly lets go of it.

"Hey. How are you doing?" I look around to see who was talking to me. At first I think that it was Bill, but then I realize that the voice was too deep to be Bill's. I look at Tom. He grins.

"I said, how are you doing?" Of course. Tom can speak English. I bet Georg and Gustav can too.

"I'm okay." Tom nods and punches Georg in the leg. Georg punches back.

"So are you coming to eat with us?" he asks. I nod. Gustav speaks up.

"We haven't properly met yet. Hi. I'm Gustav Schafer, he is Georg Listing, and you already know Bill and Tom Kaulitz. But we don't know you." I take his extended hand and we shake.

"I'm Leanah Maneth."

"Okay. I'm starving. Can we please get going?" Bill is hopping up and down. I am totally surprised that his hair isn't bouncing along with him. I guess he uses about a can of hairspray on his hair each day. I am suddenly laughing hysterically at this other side of Bill. He was so sweet and mature a few minutes ago, and now he is acting like a little kid. They all look at me like I'm a physco.

"Good going Tom. You made her crazy," Georg jokes.

"I make all the girls go crazy," says Tom, laughing. Now we are all laughing. We are practically rolling on the floor, when an old janitor comes running around the corner, yelling in German.

"Run," Tom says. And we do. Tom is the last one out of the building, his baggy clothing held him back. We break into another round of giggles.

"What was he saying?" I ask. Tom laughs for a second before replying.

"Well last week he caught us loitering and he said if he caught us again he would have his tazor ready." I widen my eyes. Then I laugh with the rest of them.

"God. I haven't felt this alive in a long tome." When the words come out I immediately tense up. The others don't know how I used to feel. Bill seems to understand because he cuts Tom off.

"What are you talki-"

"Come on. I'm going to die of hunger. Vultures are waiting for what's left of me." Bill hunches over and grabs his stomach. I lock eyes with him. _Thanks,_ I mouth. He just smiles that same sad, half-smile. Then we all pile into the Cadillac and Tom drives away.

"So you write all of your lyrics, Bill?" We are driving on our way back to the school so I can get my car.

"Yep. The guys write the music."

"Well technically we think of the music. None of us can read sheet music so it all stays up here," Tom says pointing to his head. "Actually Georg can't read anything."

"Ha. Funny. Don't believe a thing he tells you, Leanah. He's a little bit retarded." Tom makes a face a t Georg and I see Bill laugh

"Hey. You have a tongue ring Bill?" Bill nods.

"And I have three tattoos." I nod. I didn't think Bill would be the one to get tattoos. I thought that Tom would. I shrug and we arrive at the school.

"Thanks for the ride." I get out of the car and laugh to myself as I compare Tom's car to mine. My care is probably from the fifty's. My aunt and uncle only bought it so the didn't have to lug me around everywhere. The light blue paint is chipping and I am probably pushing it if I go over 30 miles an hour. I sigh and drive towards what will most likely be my doom.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I pull into the driveway and park my car in front of the barn. I open the door and climb out. I freeze as soon as I close the door. Aunt Marie is waiting for me.

"So. Where have you been?" she snarls.

"Just driving around. Getting used to the streets." I hope that my lie will fool her.

"I don't believe you. You were with those boys, weren't you? I told you to stay away from them. I warned you. You will not be allowed out of this house except to go to school. Do you hear me?" I am fuming. I want to fight back, but I know that it is a losing battle.

"For how long?" I ask.

"Until I decide you can leave again. Now go. Get out of my sight." I walk into the house and take the stairs two at a time. When I'm in my room I grab my phone.

"Hallo. Vis ind Bill." His voice makes my heart skip another beat.

"Bill. It's Leanah."

"Oh. Hey Leanah. How's it going?"

"Not to good. I'm grounded."

"Well that sucks as- a lot. Hey. Do you want me to come and break you out?" I can hear the playfulness in his voice.

"Thanks, but no thanks. My aunt already hates you enough as it is." Oops. I did not mean to say that.

"Oh. Okay. Well I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

"Bye," I say, but he already hung up.

I cannot believe I did that. My tears fall for hurting him.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It is finally Saturday. Two weeks of school are behind me. I sit up in bed and sigh. Uncle John ungrounded me yesterday. I called Bill and told him I was free, so he made plans. He wouldn't tell me what we will be doing, but he seemed really excited.

My bed creaks as I get up and walk to my bathroom. I turn on the shower and brush my teeth as I wait for it to heat up. The water burns my skin as I shower, but I don't mind. Nothing will bring me down today.

I get out of the shower and wrap a towel around me. I blow dry my elbow length hair and pull it back into a ponytail. I put in my lip ring and line my blue eyes with my usual black eyeliner. I look different with my hair pulled back. I run my tongue over the lip ring. Aunt Marie has tried unsuccessfully to get me to stop wearing it everyday. She also bought me all these colorful clothes that continue to lay untouched on the floor of my closet.

I pull on a pair of black pants and a loose purple shirt. My Converse are laced up and my car keys are in my hand as I go down the stairs.

"Bye. I'll see you later." Aunt Marie ignores me, as usual, but Uncle John manages to mutter a bye. The last thing I see is Aunt Marie glaring at Uncle John. I try to think about this as I walk towards my car, but am instantly distracted.

Bill is leaning against my car, looking like an angel. He is wearing red sneakers with extra dark darkwash jeans and a red T-shirt underneath a black Adidas track jacket. He looks different, but still beautiful, without his make-up on and a black hat holds down his normally spiked out hair. When he sees me a huge smile spreads across his face.

"Hey!" he says and he waves at me. I wave back with just as much enthusiasm.

"Hey. So are you going to tell me what we are doing today?"

"No way. Hey. That's not fair. I hate the puppy dog pout." So I make mine bigger. "Nope. I'm not saying. Now get in your car and let's go." I hold out my keys.

"Since you know where we are going you can drive." Bill shakes his head.

"Nope. I'll give you directions, but I won't drive. I don't have my license." He smiles shyly and gets in the passengers side. I laugh to myself and get in. I put the key in the ignition and ask, "Which way, Oh Mighty Direction Giver?"

"Ha ha. Turn left." I do and we begin to talk. Bill occasionally telling me to "turn here" or "slow down. The light's red not green." He keeps saying how perfect the weather is.

"We're doing something outside?" Bill sighs and nods. "Take this right, Leanah." I pull into a driveway. It is long and full of twists and turns.

"Where are we Bill?" and then I see the most beautiful house. On the outside it looks like a castle, though it is only two stories high, with a low bush wall surrounding it. The mailbox says Kaulitz on it.

"Is this your house?"

"Yep. Mine, Tom's and my mom and stepdad's."

"It's gorgeous." Bill nods and tells me to turn left. I follow another twisted path and see a huge barn. I park the car and we get out. Bill leads me into the barn and passes me a jacket. I see two 4-wheelers.

"It gets pretty cold with the wind. Put it on," he says, pointing at the jacket in my hands. I do, somewhat reluctantly.

"I don't know how to drive those." My voice sounds scared to me. Bill must notice because he says, "No need to be scared. You're riding with me." He takes my hand and pulls me to the red and black one. "Hop on Leanah."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The four- wheeler roars to life underneath us and we speed off. I almost fall off the back of it. I scream and throw my arms around Bill's waist. He turns to look at me, a smile on his face.

"You okay?" I lift my head up from where it was buried between his shoulder blades and look at the sky. I grab the bar behind me and lean back. The wind whips my loose hair out of my ponytail. The wind is cold as it dances across my face.

"I'm alive," I sing from Flyleaf's "All Around Me". "Good," Bill says back. I want to wrap my arms around Bill's waist again. It felt so good to hold him like that. But I don't want to seem obvious about it. Bill makes to turn into the woods and I see my chance. Just as he makes the turn I feign falling off.

"Ahh," I scream and Bill takes one hand off the handlebars. He grabs my arm and wraps it around his waist. I happily follow suit and put my other arm around him.

"Don't let go of me." I smile and watch the trees fly by. Bill slows down.

"It is so beautiful back here." I see him nod his head.

"It is. Hey are you hungry? It is almost noon." He turns his head to get my answer and I nod. "Then hold on." I grab the bar behind me. "Hold onto _me_ Leanah." I blush and obey.

Bill presses on the gas and we speed off. After what seems like an hour we arrive in a little clearing. I can see a picnic laid out. Bill stops the four-wheeler and we get off. I walk up to the picnic and look at it. The basket is on a simple blue and white-checkered tablecloth. There are two white plates with gold trim and two glasses. The simplicity of the lay out just makes it all the more beautiful. I notice a small cooler next to the basket. Bill sits down and pats the ground next to him.

"Come sit," he commands and I plop myself onto the ground.

"You did all this Bill? Its incredible." Bill turns his head and blushes.

"Thanks. But I only set it up. My mom did the cooking." Bill opens the basket and pulls out two sandwiches. "Well she did the sandwich making. I hope you like PB &J." He hands me a sandwich.

"Yes. Peanut butter and jelly is way fine with me." I take a bite of my sandwich. Bill passes me a coke from the cooler. I take a sip.

"So how are you liking Germany so far?"

"It's beautiful. I have a hard time understanding everyone though. Thanks for translating your notes, by the way."

"No problem. Hold on a second." Bill gets up and runs to the edge of the clearing. Then he jogs back, his hand behind his back.

"A beautiful flower for and even more beautiful girl," he says as he hands me the flower. I can feel my blood rushing to my cheeks. I stare at the ground, my face probably getting redder by the second.

"Pink looks good on you. You should wear it more often." I smile at the compliment. Bill stares at me for what feels like ages.

Suddenly it's pouring. "Heilig scheisse." Bill grabs the picnic stuff and attaches it to the four-wheeler. He gets on and so do I. As soon as my arms are securely around him we take off.

Both of us are dripping wet by the time we get back to the barn. I feel like I'll never be properly dry again. We both run for my car and I drive as close to Bill's house as I can. "See you Monday Leanah," Bill says before dashing to his house. I pull away and start to drive home.

I pull off my hat as soon as I am safe under my porch. Leanah drives slowly down my driveway. I watch her until she is out of sight. Today was overall a fun day. I open the door and walk inside. Water drips off of me and I slip and fall to the ground, hitting my tailbone hard.

"Oww!" I yell out. Slowly I crawl to the stairs and go to my room. I pull on my blue with green-stripes sweatpants and a gray shirt. Then I plop onto my bed, my tailbone throbbing. I hear a knock on my door.

"Come in." Tom walks into my room and plops onto the end of my bed. He is grinning.

"Get a bit wet, did we? So how was today? Did you have fun? Did you unravel the mystery that is Leanah?" Tom laughs.

"No I didn't."

"Wait. You didn't have fun or you didn't unravel the mystery?

" I didn't unravel the mystery. Leanah confuses me so much. I can normally read people well, but with her it's like I've become retarded and can't read anymore. The letters are all jumbled up and backwards." I sigh and sit cross-legged. Frustrated I punch a pillow. Tom laughs and is instantly silenced by my icy glare.

"Well maybe you aren't supposed to read Leanah. Maybe you have to unravel the mystery piece by piece. You know. Take baby steps." Now it is my laugh. I so rarely get a reply like that from Tom. He sits there looking at me. "What?" he says. I shake my head and water goes flying everywhere. Now we both burst into fits of laughter. Tom holds his stomach.

"You know Bill, you're lucky." I stop laughing and look at Tom, puzzled.

"What do you mean?" my eyebrows come together as I wait for a reply.

"You're lucky that you have Leanah." I snort.

"I don't have Leanah. She is just a friend." I sigh, knowing that deep down I want to be more than a friend for Leanah. I blink furiously.

"Bill are you blind? Mein Gott. Don't you see how she looks at you?" Tom shakes his head.

"How does she look at me?" I ask, voice barely above a whisper. Tom massages his temples.

"With longing. With hope. Love. Sadness. So many different emotions show in her eyes when she looks at you. And you're oblivious." Tom angrily jumps up and pushes me back onto the floor.

"Shit Tom! What the hell's your problem?" I yell. I get up in his face and push him back with all my might. Unexpected, Tom stumbles back a bit. He recovers and runs into my stomach. I crash into the wall, hitting my head on the windowpane. I gasp for air and clutch my stomach. I can't breathe. I reach up to hold the throbbing pain on my head and feel something wet and sticky. I look at my hand and see blood on my fingertips.

"Tom!" Tom was lying the floor and looks up. When he sees the blood on my fingers his eyes widen.

"Oh mein Gott. I'm so sorry Bill." I roll my eyes. "Don't just stand there you idiot. Help me" Tom pulls me up and helps me walk into the bathroom. I feel dizzy. My feet stumble as I try to walk. I fall to the ground. Tom hands me a wet washcloth and I hold to my head.

"Stay here Bill. I'll be back." I laugh to myself at how quickly Tom flew into concerned brother mode. Seconds later Tom bursts through the door with our mom, Simone, and Gordon, our stepfather, in tow.

"Bill sweetie, are you alright?" I nod in response and it sends a sharp pain through my head, I grimace.

"Alright. Lets get him up. He needs to be taken to the hospital." Gordon grabs me underneath my elbow and pulls me up. He outs my arm around my shoulder and Tom puts my other arm around his. We slowly make our way to the car. Once inside, Gordon drives like a maniac to the hospital.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Tom. Come here." We've been at the hospital for almost an hour. I get up from the cold, hard plastic chair I've been sitting in.

"Yeah Gordon?"

"What the hell happened?" I gulp. I don't want to lie to him, but I certainly don't what to tell him the truth. I take a deep breath.

"Umm. Well. You see. What happened was…um…" Luckily at that moment a nurse came over.

"Excuse me but Bill is done now. You are welcome to take him home." Bill walks around the corner, holding his hand to his head. "Bill!" I yell and run over. I hug him and whisper in his ear, " Gordon wants to know what happened. What should I say?"

"Don't worry. I got this." We walk over to Gordon.

"Sorry it took so long. I needed stitches, but wouldn't let them shave my head." I laugh and Gordon glares at me.

"So Tom. What happened?" my mouth goes dry and I look at Bill. He winks at me.

"You know how clumsy I am. I tripped and hit my head." Gordon shakes his head at Bill and we leave the hospital. When we get home Bill and me immediately run to his room.

"Thanks twin. You saved me," I say. Bill rolls his eyes.

"Ironic really because you practically killed me." I laugh. We sit quietly for a minute.

"Hey Tom? Can I tell you something?" I face Bill and see the sadness in his eyes.

"Of course Bill. You can tell me anything. Don't you know that?" He smiles and nods.

"Yeah. I do. Tom? I want to help her. I want to make her happy." I know that he is talking about Leanah. " I think, " Bill sighs, " I think I love her."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I wake up to an incredibly annoying beeping. I sit up with a jolt when I realize that it is my phone. I open it and see that I have a new text message.

Leanah, you are not going to believe what happened to me when I went inside on Saturday. I'll tell you at school. ~Bill.

I read the text a few more times. _What happened?_ I walk to my closet. It is no longer covered in dirty clothes. When I got home on Saturday I went and hung up the clothes Aunt Marie bought me and put my dirty clothes down the laundry chute. Then I went shopping.

I pull on a pair of darkwash bootcut jeans and slip on my brand new black ballet flats. As I search for a shirt I wonder what Aunt Marie will say of my choice of shoes. I flip through my shirts and come to the pink one my parents bought me. Tears pour down my face. Not because of their death, but because of the compliment Bill gave me.

I pull on the pink shirt my aunt bought me. I hang up the old one and look in my full-length mirror. Because the shirt is spaghetti strapped I pull on a black fitted blazer that I bought yesterday.

I go into the bathroom and brush my teeth. Then I pull my long hair into a half-pony. I put on my normal dark eyeliner, but this time I add a soft pink eye shadow. I look different. I sigh as I put in my lip ring, the one thing that I will never let go of. I turn off the lights as I leave my room.

As usual Aunt Marie barely passes a glance in my direction. Uncle John, however, looks at me like I am an alien. I have come to like him considerably more than I once did.

"My goodness you look different," he gushes. Aunt Marie looks up at me now.

"Well, well. You're wearing the shirt I bought you. Where did you get the blazer? Oh! And the ballet flats! You look so much more presentable."

I say a quick 'thanks' and grab a granola bar. Five minutes later I am driving to school, anxiously awaiting Bill's story.

When I pull up to the school I see the guys. Bill is talking animatedly with his hands. I get out of my car and Bill waves. I wave back.

"Wow Leanah. You're wearing pink. And a blazer and flats. Wow. You look…you look …"

"You look good," Tom finishes for Bill. Bill blushes and looks down. I smile.

"Thanks! To both of you." The bell rings and Bill, Tom, Gustav, Georg, and I all walk arm in arm to class. We take seats in the back of the room. Mr. Schwarz walks into the classroom and starts talking. I lean back, happy that one of the boys is in all of my classes.

By the time lunch rolls around I am exhausted. The day wore me out so quickly. Whether it is from listening to random German babble or that I didn't get enough sleep I don't know. I do know that I will probably be very irritable.

Bill is waiting for me at my locker. A few girls are standing there talking to him. I can't get to my locker, so I tap one on the shoulder. She turns around and looks at me head to toe, like she is sizing me up. I glare and she says something a little to loudly to her friend. Then she says something to Bill and looks at me again. She barks out a loud "Ha!' and flounces off with her friend laughing.

"What did she say?" Bill won't look me in the eye. "Bill. What did she say?"

"I'd rather not say." I stare at him. "Please don't make me say it."  
"I have a right to know. She was talking about me." Bill sighs.

"Fine. She called you a trashy American bitch and told you to go back to where you came from." I can feel the tears.

"Thanks Bill," I say angrily. I grab my stuff and run to the nearest empty classroom. I hug my knees to my chest and curl up in a ball. The tears flow and I wish I could stop them. I realize that it wasn't Bill's fault and I shouldn't be mad at him, but I still can't get up and say sorry.

"Bill. Where's Leanah?" I ask my brother.

"In there." He points to a classroom. I'm confused. None of us have a class in there.

"Why?" But Bill just shakes his head and I know he doesn't want to talk about it. "I'll be back." I open the door and walk in.

Leanah is sitting in the corner, knees hugged to her chest and head resting on her knees. Her shoulders are shaking violently and I hear sobs. I have never had to do something like this before. I kneel down next to her and pull her into my arms.

"Shh…" I say. She looks up at me. "What's wrong?" I realize this was not the best thing to say because new sobs shake her. I panic and say the first thing that pops into my head.

"You are really beautiful." Leanah just stares.

"No. I'm not. I'm a hideous mess." I totally disagree with this. Leanah has high cheekbones and a perfect nose. Her doll like features are gorgeous. And she has an awesome body. Typical for me to realize how hot she is.

"That's because of the tears." I grab a tissue and wipe them away. "Now. Why the tears love?" Leanah smiles at me.

"These girls were talking to Bill and he didn't want to tell me but I made him tell me what they said and the one girl called me a trashy American bitch and told me to, basically, get lost," she sobbed.

"Hey. Don't listen to those girls. They are just jealous that you and Bill are hanging out. And of how pretty you are."

"Will you stop saying I'm pretty. I'm not."

"Bill thinks you are stunning." Leanah shakes her head. "No. No he doesn't."

"Hey he told me that. And he also told me that…" I pause. I'm not sure if I should tell her.

"What? He told you what?"  
"He told me that he loves you." Leanah breaks into the first real smile I've ever seen from her.

"Hey Tom?"

"Yeah?"  
"I love him too." I pull Leanah close and thank heaven that she feels that way.

"So are there anymore waterworks? Do I need to get a mop? Or the crazy janitor?" I nudge her so she knows I am joking. She laughs.

"I don't think that that is necessary."

"Good. Then lets go. Bill is waiting outside." I take her hand and we walk to the door. I squeeze her hand and let go. Then I open the door.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

When I hear the door creak open I jump up from the floor and onto my feet.

"Leanah. I'm so, so sorry. Please don't hate me."

"I don't. I'm sorry. I overreacted. I shouldn't have made you tell me that stuff." I pull Leanah into a hug. Tom clears his throat.

"Bill. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure. I follow Tom down the hall so that Leanah is out of earshot. "What?"

"She loves you, you know?" I pull my eyebrows together. She doesn't act like she loves me.

"How do you know?" I ask, defiant.

"Because she told me, idiot." Tom fake hits my forehead. I laugh.

"What should I do?" Tom rolls his eyes.

"Duh! Ask her out." I smile.

"Fine. But you have to leave." I push Tom away and walk back to Leanah.

"Hey. So, are you sure you're not mad at me?"

"I'm sure."

"Positive?"

"Positive."

"Good. Then I have a question for you."

"Yeah?"

"Do you…? Um. Will you…?"

"WILL YOU GO OUT WITH BILL?"

"TOM! GET OUT OF HERE!" I yell back. I see Tom's head retreat around the corner. "Anyway. Tom pretty much said it. Will you go out with me?" I hold my breath.

"Yes." I breathe out.

"Yes?"

"Yes! I'll go out with you!" I pull Leanah into a hug and spin her around. When I see Tom standing a foot away I stop. He is smiling ear to ear.

"Way to eavesdrop Tom."

"That's what I'm here for, little brother." He grins.

"You're older than Bill?" Leanah asks. Tom nods.

"Only by ten minutes," I say.

"Hey Bill. What were you talking about when you sent me that text this morning?"

"Oh. Right. Well yesterday Tom pushed me and I fell into the windowpane and had to get stitches." Leanah's green eyes go wide.

"What were you two fighting about?" I am stuck. I certainly can't tell her that we were fighting about her. Awkward. I can't even imagine what would happen if I said that.

"Does it really matter? The past is the past and it is better to look to the future."

"Like Mr. Schwarz coming right at us?" Tom asks.

(Following conversation is in German, but it is written in English for reading purposes.)

"Hello Bill. Tom."

"Hi Mr. Schwarz. Do you need something?"

"I'm here actually you relay some news. You boys are no longer allowed to use the band room for your practice."

"But why?" Tom interjects angrily.

"I don't know. I'm only delivering the message. You boys will have to find someplace else to play. Good day." And he walks off.

(Back to English)

My face must have fallen a thousand feet because Leanah looks at me with worry.

"Bill, what's wrong?" I open my mouth but can't speak. We have nowhere to practice. We don't own our own equipment so we can't practice at home. Our dream…_my_ dream… is being thrown away by someone else's hands.

"We aren't allowed to practice in the band room. And none of us own our own instruments. Bye, bye to the rest of our career," Tom answers for me.

"Don't worry guys. We'll figure something out. It'll be okay." Leanah pulls Tom and me into a three-man hug. I pray to God that she is right.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

When I get home there is no one there. Aunt Marie and Uncle John must still be working. I go upstairs and drop my bag at my desk. I decide to explore the ground floor, since the most I've done is go in the dining room for meals.

I open the first door on the left in a long corridor and peek in. It is a library. I close the door. I'd never been one to read so I figure I won't visit that room too often.

About halfway down the hallway is another smaller hallway. There is only one door, so I go over and open it. What I see almost stops my heart. I walk to the center of the room and spin around, breathless. On one wall is a raised platform with a drum set and a microphone and three stools. In front of the platform there is three circular tables with three chairs each. On another wall there are tons of brass instruments and a grand piano. I feel the tears as I come to look at the string instruments.

When I was five I started violin lessons. I was amazing. I could play anything I looked at or by ear by the time I was eight. I spent every spare second playing all the instruments I could get my hands on. My favorites were the violin, the piano, and guitar. I composed my own music. But then my parents died and I stopped playing. I don't know why. I loved the violin. It was my life.

I carefully pick up a cherry red violin and the bow. I put the violin underneath my chin and begin to play a sad symphony. I am pleasantly surprised when I realize I still know how to play. It comes naturally. I continue to play, getting lost in the music.

"I though I heard something." I jump so violently that the bow goes flying across the room and lands at Uncle John's feet.

"So you finally found our music room, eh? You know this room is completely soundproof. That is, when the door is closed." He nods to the open door.

"So all of this is yours?" I ask.

"Yes. I thought you might like this room. Especially the violins." I nod. I wish I could show Bill this room. He would…Bill! Oh my God! Tokio Hotel could practice here.

"Uncle John! Could I maybe have a few friends come over so they can have practice. They aren't allowed to use the band room at school anymore and they don't have the right equipment. Please?"

"What friends?"

"Bill, Tom, Gustav, and Georg. Please. They need my help. I promised them that we would figure something out. And you wouldn't even know they are here if the room is soundproof." I breathe deeply as I watch Uncle John think. After what feels like ages he answers.

"I don't see why not. Go ahead."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I hug him and run to my room. I pick up the phone and call Bill. The phone rings three times before someone answers.

"Hello Bill?"

"No this is Tom. Is this Leanah?"

"Yeah."

"Hold on. I'll go get him."

"No. That's okay. I can tell you. Ready? I found you guys a place to practice that has everything you need."

"You did. No way. That was fast. Where?" Tom asks excitedly.

"Here at my house. You guys can come over whenever."

"That is so awesome. Great! See you soon!" I start to say 'bye' but I hear the click that means Tom already hung up the phone. I sit on my bed and am unsurprised when the doorbell rings only twenty minutes after my phone call to Tom.

I run down the stairs and almost crash into Uncle John.

"In a hurry, are we?" he asks laughing. I smile and realize that I actually like him. I get to the door and open it.

"Hi. Come on in." I step out of the doorway and let the boys enter. Bill immediately grabs my hand. He grins and I smile back. "Come on. The room is this way." I lead the way with Bill, his fingers still entwined with mine.

I open the door and hear a collective intake of breath.

"Here it is. Drums are on the platform, Gustav, along with a mic for you," I say, poking Bill in the ribs, " and the guitars are over on that wall." I watch as everyone gets what they need and sit on the stools on the platform. I linger by the violins as Tokio Hotel starts playing "Totgeliebt."

I pick up the violin I used earlier and hold it. Then I take the bow and inspect it.

"Do you play Leanah?" Georg asks.

"Sort of." I blush.

"Can we hear something?" Gustav asks. Bill nods in agreement to Gustav's question.

"Okay." I set myself up and look at the platform. They are all watching me intently. I take a deep breath and am suddenly relaxed. This is just like all those recitals I used to play in. I breathe deeply and begin to play the melody of Flyleaf's song "All Around Me." Suddenly there is no one else in the room. I let the music carry me away. Each note sparks inside me and I fall in love with the violin again. When the song is over I realize that I have tears in my eyes. I hastily wipe them away.

Bill stands up and claps. Tom, Gustav, and Georg follow suit. I see something from the corner of my eye and turn my head as the door slowly swings shut. But not before I see Aunt Marie's flowing blonde hair.

"That was amazing," Gustav says happily.

"Yeah. That was way awesome," Georg echoes.

"You're really good!" the twins say at the same time, which makes everyone giggle.

"Hey Leanah. Can you play the guitar?" Tom points to the one he was using. I pick it up and begin to play the chords to a country song called "Picture to Burn." The song ends and Bill tells me to go to the piano.

"Play one of our songs," he commands.

"Yeah. Play…hmm…1000 Meere," Tom says. So I do. I am surprised that I can play it, because I have only heard it a couple of times. The music flows through me. The guys are gaping at me when it is over.

"How'd you do that?" Tom questions.

"I don't know. I guess I can play by ear really well."

"Can you, like, pick up any instrument and play it like that?"

"Yeah. But most times I play a random tune in my head. I don't normally get requests." I laugh.

"That's still really cool," Tom says.

"Yay! My girlfriend is amazing!" Bill shouts enthusiastically. Gustav and Georg look at him questioningly. "Oh. We are going out now." Bill grins.

"All thanks to me. I played matchmaker." Tom grins at me. Bill punches him in the arm.

"I was doing just fine without your help," Bill says with fake anger. We laugh and I take Bill's hand.

"So guys. I have a surprise for you."

"Yeah?" they all say.

"Hold on. I'll go get it."

"I'll come with you." Bill opens the door for me and we walk up the stairs and into my bedroom.

"It's in my backpack. Give me a second to find it." Bill plops down onto my bed. I search through my papers and grab the flyer.

"What's that?" Bill asks.

"Oh you'll find out soon enough." Bill fakes disappointment and we walk downstairs.

"Okay," I say when we are back in the music room. "Check this out." I show them the flyer.

"No way!" they all say.

"Wait the talent show is in two days. What song should we play?" Tom asks. I read the flyer one more time as they decide on a song.

"I already entered you guys. You are going to be the last people to perform." Small print catches my eye.

"Oh my God!"

"What?" Bill asks.

"There are going to be talent scouts there." Bill's brown, kohl-lined eyes widen.

"This could be our chance. Our dream could come true."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"Now please welcome our final act. Here is Tokio Hotel" I hear polite applause and my palms sweat. I grab my mic and I walk to the center of the stage. The curtain lifts. I look behind me at Tom, Gustav, and Georg. We share a smile. I nod my head and they start playing. I raise the mic to my mouth and sing.

"Viel zu viel Liebe, an der Musik.  
Viel zu viele Grenzen, unbesiegt.  
So viele gedänken, und Wörter nicht beendet.  
Ich glaube nicht das das, bald endet.

Wir bleiben immer, schreiben uns in die Ewigkeit.  
Ich weiss das immer, irgendwo was bleibt.  
Wir fühlen, wir sind fürs Ende nicht bereit.  
Wir sterben niemals aus, Ihr tragt uns bis in alle Zeit."

I lock eyes with Leanah.

"Macht ihr für uns weiter, Wenn wir nichts mehr können.  
Werdet ihr unsere Sätze, in die Ewigkeit beenden.  
Jetzt hab ich keine Angst mehr, nach vorn zu sehen.  
Denn ab heute weiss ich, das wir nicht einfach so gehen.

Wir bleiben immer, schreiben uns in die Ewigkeit.  
Ich weiss das immer, irgendwo was bleibt.  
Wir fühlen, wir sind fürs Ende nicht bereit.  
Wir sterben niemals aus, Ihr tragt uns bis in alle Zeit.

Ich weiss das igerndwas bleibt, 'n bisschen von mir.  
Ich bin mir ganz sicher, es bleibt was von Dir.  
Für immer, für immer.

Wir bleiben immer, schreiben uns in die Ewigkeit.  
Ich weiss das immer, irgendwo was bleibt.  
Wir fühlen, wir sind fürs Ende nicht bereit.  
Wir sterben niemals aus, Ihr tragt uns bis in alle Zeit.

Sowas wie wir.  
Geht nie vorbei."

I smile a huge smile as everybody gives us a standing ovation. "Danke Shon!" We leave the stage as everybody gets up to leave. Leanah runs and hugs me.

"You were all amazing," She says. Then she kisses me. I kiss her back and we hug.

"Tokio Hotel?" A voice breaks us apart. We see a group of people.

"Yes?" I ask.

"We are from Universal. We watched you guys and I have to say you are very impressive. We'd like to make you famous."

"Yeah!" I yell. One gives me a card and tells me to call. I promise and thank them. Then they walk away.

"Guys. We're going to be famous." We fall into a group hug. This is truly a magical night.


	14. Epilogue

Epilogue

"Wilkommen im Tokio Hotel. Zimmer 483." Hundreds of girls' screams echo across the stadium. I sit off to the side and watch as my boys take the stage. Even at twenty-two the twins still shake.

Four years have passed since that fateful day at the talent show. Now Tokio Hotel is an international band. I look on with pride as I take it in.

"I stare at the man who was once my boyfriend. His black hair is still all over the place. I place my hand on my round belly as I feel a particularly hard kick.

"Ow! Thank you baby," I say. My wedding band gleams and I read the words inscribed on the outside.

"To Me You'll Be Forever Sacred." A single, happy tear falls.


End file.
